...I return. The same manuscript still lays scattered over my chocolate, plush duvet-cover. Not much has changed as I have THE greatest concept in my reach, but still lacking a finished product. Moments of accomplished valor are followed by extreme dry seasons of insecurity, doubt, and personal inhibitions. Yet, I still fight on--fighting to keep this child I have given birth to alive. Using my pencil to recussitate life into this script which has the potential to reconcile families all over the world. I've given chapters of my manuscripts to other fellow writers, readers, and editors. The feedback has been tremendous, but yet my confidence hangs in the looms. I feel like an adolescent boy scared to face the beautiful girl in math class who served as the source of his first wetdream. (Sorry for the explicit--but I'm sure you get the point) One close loved one told me, "Because you are about to delve into unchartered waters as a black male writer, you're probably a little shaky... It's easy to follow the beaten, familiar path, but tapping into those unchartered waters takes some Ca-hones! That's what's sparking the insecurity." Boy, was she ever right...I guess it's easy to accomplish things when the patent is made readily available. This journey is so tedious! Every T must be cross and every I dotted....the simplest, innocent error could land you IMMEDIATELY in the reject pile. That's a pretty heavy weight to carry at times...But yet I fight on...Wish me luck fellow writers!
~JR
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I very much enjoyed reading you post. I like the way you now think, I am on a similar path. Discipline is indeed a key.
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